Stupid Kitchen Gadgets

May 7th, 2011  |  Published in Feature, Laugh  |  2 Comments

Throughout time man has had this tireless need to create. From Paleolithic cave paintings to household electrical current. One thing is for sure though some things just didn’t need to be made. Speaking of Paleolithic – sometimes you just need more weight to really smash that garlic clove. Behold The Homo Sapien. From simple to overly complex we go to the GarlicZoom XL Rolling Garlic Chopper. This is what you get when an engineer designs kitchen implements. Now, I actually own one of these (it was a gift) and I can attest that it’s a serious PITA to clean. It has more parts than my old 1976 Toyota Chinook’s carburetor. Not only is it a pain to clean but it’s also dangerous. The thing is a damn abattoir for your fingertips. And moving on….

Pizza – so misunderstood. What’s even more misunderstood is the need for this thing. Pizza scissors – I’ll type that again so you can let it sink in Pizza Scissors. And because that’s not dumb enough there’s also the Pizza Fork. I can’t imagine how many lacerated cheeks that thing causes on a daily basis.

Now I’ve never used this next thing and I have to admit I’m intrigued by it. My wife is rather well known for her deviled eggs and I have to admit carting them around kind of sucked until we bought a tray for that express purpose. And though it only gets used once a year I’m glad to have it. Anyway, before that purchase I could have maybe seen the need for square eggs. Now – not so much.

Are knives really that difficult to use? Or do I just truly not get it?

Tell me in the comments below.

As an added bonus I’ve included some Stupid Kitchen Gadget videos below.

People doing it all wrong.

Chad Thompson

I’ve been alive for roughly 37 years now and have been shooting things for about 30 of them. When I was about 5 years old I had a slingshot. That worked out about as well as you can imagine. I was happily targeting cans when a small bird landed near where I was aiming. Not shooting with particularly rounded rocks proved the end of the bird as the projectile veered tragically off course. These days I have honed my accuracy and changed my weapon. Chad Thompson is a food photographer in San Diego, California.

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  • Sweet!

  • Most of all, I hate gadgets that are hard to clean….the last thing I want to do after a long day…and besides, aren't they supposed to make our lives easier?